PISSING IN MONTPELLIER

I was recently in the south of France watching Fiji narrowly miss defeating Australia in the pool stages of the rugby world cup. I went swimming in a freezing cold lake in the countryside and ended up getting a chill in my organs that are related to the act of peeing. It was a nightmare, needing to go for a pee every five minutes, sometimes less...this is my true account of the horror, the horror...


Pissing in Montpellier.
Pissing in alleyways like a feral cat.
Pissing on tree trunks like a mangy mutt.
Pissing on churches like a Satanist.
Pissing in hospital carparks like a junkie escaped from rehab.
Pissing my life, my soul, my energy, through the thin tube of my prick.
Crying and howling to God for a moment's respite, a moment's peace, from the endless flood of piss squirting out of me.
I walk - the tram is a nightmare where I must tie my cock in two by placing my hands in my pockets like some sort of pervert - I walk and piss and moan to the heavens. I walk and piss on punks who ask me for cigarettes.
I walk and piss on young Arabs playing football on the street; kicking their ball into my piss-dribbling man-hood.
I piss in bakeries.
On the croissants.
On the pain au chocolat.
On the quiches.
I piss on the rugby fans all wearing gold jerseys. I piss in the face of the moon.
Going crazy am I.
Unable to stop pissing.
I get closer to the main square - thousands of people milling about, drinking - I pull out my pecker (it is blistered from too much use) and unleash a torrent, a biblical flood, of infected piss.
I scream, I curse, and I piss everyone away.
I piss the kebab shops and cafes away.
I piss the supermarche away.
I piss the piss-poor French beer away.
I piss the useless French railway system and lazy workers away.
I piss everything away.
I piss the main square of Montpellier away.
I piss the ghettoes out near the stadium away.
I piss the churches and the parks and the punks and the quiches away.
I piss footballs and rugby balls away.
I piss Montpellier away.
Drowned in a sea of yellow.
Washed away in a wave of urine.
I piss it all away.
And then I stop. I shake myself and put myself away. I zip myself up.
I smile to myself.
And then my smile turns on itself like a rabid animal.
For I have just realised...
Already...
I need another piss.


THE END.